Stop Waiting for "Me 2.0"

Joze Piranian
5 days ago
2 min read

Are you quietly accepting a life of "quiet desperation"?

The philosopher Henry David Thoreau once wrote that "the mass of men live lives of quiet desperation". The truth is, most people do this because they silently succumb to their "inner stutter".

Instead of doing something about our dissatisfaction, we just go through the motions of life under the misguided assumption that our behavior is unlikely to influence the outcome.

This quiet resignation is deeply linked to the concept of "learned helplessness". In the 1960s, psychological experiments showed that dogs subjected to repeated shocks outside of their control eventually stopped trying to escape, even when they later had the ability to stop the pain by simply pressing a lever. They had internalized a lack of personal power.

As humans, we do this too: when we experience repeated pain, rejection, or failure, we can subconsciously "learn" that no matter what we do, the outcomes will remain unchanged. We stop trying because we associate our personal volition with an inability to shape our destiny.

When faced with this overwhelming feeling of being stuck, it is incredibly tempting to take a break from the stress of our existence by fantasizing about a better, more favorable future.

We imagine a "la la land" inhabited by a hypothetical "Me 2.0"—a new, improved, and flawless version of ourselves who has effortlessly overcome all the obstacles currently holding us back.

We constantly tell ourselves lies to justify our present inaction:

"Once I lose 20 pounds, Me 2.0 will ask that person out".
"Once I feel more confident, Me 2.0 will participate in meetings".
"Once I solve this problem, Me 2.0 will finally start taking action".

We blame our current circumstances for our lack of momentum. But as author and retired US Navy SEAL Jocko Willink says, effective leaders exercise "extreme ownership" by owning everything in their world. We have to stop blaming our circumstances, or our fears, for our lack of action.

Here is the catch-22: "Me 2.0" is never going to magically emerge unless you start taking action to change how you interpret and react to your fear today.

You cannot expect a new version of yourself to arrive while you are unwilling to do the uncomfortable work. That pivotal moment simply cannot coexist with an unwillingness to take action.