My "Vienna Moment" (and Yours)

In my book, Stop Holding Back, I talk about a concept I call the "Vienna Moment." 

I explain that it's named after a missed connection I had during a family trip to Austria, but the definition applies to all of us.

A Vienna Moment is a time when you desperately want to do something, but fear permeates your mind and completely dictates the outcome.

Our inner stutters will go to extreme lengths to help us avoid discomfort.

Let me give you a prime example.

When I was 18 years old, I had just completed my first year of university in Montreal and was back in Lebanon for the summer.

My beloved late Uncle Levon had organized a large family reunion, and honestly, I was dreading that day. The thought of facing a barrage of questions from relatives, knowing I was going to get severely stuck on my words and feel completely small and unworthy, sent me into a panic.

As a licensed professional avoider, I began plotting a strategy to minimize the emotional damage and find a way out.

A few days before the gathering, my family and I were on a beautiful Mediterranean cruise. One night, fresh out of the shower, I stood outside on my cabin balcony for 30 minutes, dripping wet in only a towel.

Why?

I was secretly hoping to catch a cold just so I would have a valid, medical excuse to skip the reunion!

When we give in to our hesitation, we might temporarily save ourselves from anxiety, but we ultimately rob ourselves of experiences that will never reemerge.

But what happens when we don't let the Vienna Moment win?

A few years prior, when I was 16, I attended a summer school program at Phillips Academy in Andover, Massachusetts.

I was thousands of miles away from home, and I instantly felt as though the emotional shackles of my life back in Lebanon had been lifted. I decided I wanted to reinvent my personality.

At the first general residence meeting, instead of hiding my speech impediment, I stood up and introduced myself- humourously calling attention to my stutter.  

Everyone started laughing with me, and I felt a sense of liberation I had never experienced before. It was, arguably, my first-ever stand-up comedy bit!. I took control of the narrative before my fear could. 

However, hesitation can always come back if we do not actively counteract it. 

In the weeks that followed, I started hiding my stutter again from people outside of my dorm, and by doing so, I limited the depth of the friendships I could have built.

The "Yes Way" Takeaway

We all have these moments where we let fear drive the car. I want you to reflect on your own patterns of avoidance. What is a "Vienna Moment" from your own life where fear dictated your fate?  Acknowledging the fear is the first step to finally taking the wheel!